Nov 21 : Ramya Sanam

"So why did we even fight in the first place" she asked me after getting in touch few years back." I have no idea." I innocently replied. Turns out that we really didn't have a reason to be so cold with each other during our college days. Ramya was my classmate from engineering and even though we had a decent start in B.Tech first year, it quickly became an age old rivalry, an enmity so severe that even today we seriously joke saying that we will always be the best enemies to ever become such good friends. 'But I hated you, I was so mad that I never wanted to talk to you again though I never understood why' she honestly told me once and just to refresh her memory I reminded her on the way I insulted her in front of the whole class one day and I hysterically laughed recollecting that incident. "Oh yaa!!' she said and quickly shouted "You idiot! I was only trying to be nice to you" Indeed she was being nice to me that day but I could not stand my classmates being shouted at. This was just a glimpse of many such petty quarrels we both got into where we always had an excuse to be mad at each other but never a valid reason for our anger. I now strongly feel that's it because of this simple logic, she finally ended up becoming one of the few friends who really matter. 

She was not only smart but emotionally intelligent and best at everything she chose. I was always happy to have such people around me who were independent in their thoughts, intelligent in their decisions, friendly with everyone around and most importantly enjoyed being themselves. Ironically I was the  one who had to learn all those qualities in the long run. To crack it down once and for all we both discussed as to why we were so angry at each other. That's when I had to accept a bitter truth through introspection that I never liked her giving more importance to scoring marks and getting good grades. It was never jealousy but my helplessness to witness people being exceptionally smart yet relying more on a 3 hours exam which judged students merely based on how good they were at recollecting concepts and putting them on paper. "Didn't we already do that all our childhood?" I asked her in spite of knowing the answer. "So that's why you stopped taking exams seriously after first year?" she replied not expecting any answer. "Well that only makes us people with different approach towards education. You were mostly into gaining practical knowledge while I took the best option by being a topper then choosing the career I love" she concluded. She was right, I might had been the one exploring the best freedom of 4 years while she earned her freedom for a life time and looking at what we both do today for a living, I would have never been so proud to see her living the dream of a true Chemical Engineer. Mathematical modelling was our favourite subject and she will soon earn her PhD from NEERI, a central government body reverently working to keep this country's environment in check. How cool is that.?

Silence of the unknown

The first impression anyone would get upon meeting Ramya is that she is very jovial, down to earth, curious champ and has great respect towards everyone who comes across in her life. Friendship is something she ardently believes more than God and family is her everything. I once asked her as to why she never tries to explain her agony if there were any misunderstanding between her and her friends for which she simply smiled and replied 'What good would that do when they are already convinced that I am wrong'. "How can you let them go?" I could not stop myself from asking her such a difficult question. With a great sigh she said "That's the beauty of friendship. I care for them even when they don't. It's not easy letting my friends walk away from my life but if that keeps them happy so be it" I silently took it as a surprise coming out from a person who never lets her smile fade off even when she is going through the toughest phases in life. "But doesn't that hurt you more, knowing that they didn't even tell what their problem was". she couldn't skip that question with her regular sarcasm but threw a better reply "It hurts not because I lost my friends but because I was unable to help them. I trust them unconditionally and I can't help if they don't. But I must say its rather easy dealing with morons who talk behind your back than having friends who can turn their back against you with no apparent reason. Even you were once a good friend and then you stopped being one. I am only happy that we could sort this out as years passed by" I could not agree more as she diverted this topic to a rather silly one where we had to imagine how our college would react once they come to realise that we are no longer sworn to destroy each other.

This is exactly what made her silence even more powerful then I first imagined. One should be deserving enough to have a friend who doesn't rely on what others think about you. She never gives any explanations or justification for any of her actions. 'Waste of time' she says which is obviously right. Being a good person doesn't always mean kind words and an everlasting smile but a relentless concern to see you achieving your dreams whether that person is a part of it or not. 'I speak for my friends but never against them and if that's difficult to digest then I am sorry for not being filmy' she once said to convey how she accepts reality. I then understood why she chose to remain a true friend instead of a good friend for many in her life even though that's the most difficult road to travel. While being a good friend makes one socially loveable, a true friend always becomes a bitter confrontation every time one messes up in life. 

To my best enemy, to my dearest friend this song from 'Rush' only shows the different paths we chose to reach a similar destination

Sibling Rivalry

"Why do you sound so much similar to my brother?" she asked me one day in the middle of a conversation. "Oh!" I paused "So it's just not me who thinks that you talk like my sister". Ramya then went on explaining about her brother who had many similar mannerisms of mine. I too got the chance to share some traits of my own sister through which I realised that in Ramya I saw my sister. No wonder I never got offended even when she scolded me momentarily out of frustration. She always listened to my theories, even though they are insanely out of this world, just like my sis while I, like her brother, never let her feel demotivated, believed in her words and always reminded her of what a great inspiration she would always be. Later it was evident that its just not the two of us but many who are closely attached to their siblings always find them in their friends. It's that rivalry of the childhood which makes this bond purely exceptional. The way she spoke about her brother brought me closer to my sister as then I understood why my sister had to be cold hearted sometimes only to guide me through my tough times and even if the world turns against me she would never let me go. She believes in her brother just like my sister does in me. I guess every sister does the same but few are fortunate like me and Ramya who actually got a chance to talk about it.

Having an elder sister is most of the times a nightmare for any brother because no matter how old we turn, no matter how matured we become in our actions, no matter how best we try to convince them that we can be on our own,  they always treat us like little kids who refuse to let go of us. No they are not worried but just concerned not because we would fail but because of the fact that we will not be able to handle such failures if not given the right strength to face our weaknesses. Undoubtedly its this very reason why we brothers thank God for having a big sister in spite of such nightmares. Yes we get scolded, yes we will never reach your expectations and yes we can never make you happy but we do know how proud you will always be when you take our name amongst family and friends. It's a silent promise we have made to ourselves to never let you down because we cannot bare seeing our inspiration put their head down in dismay.

A Daughter's dream

There have been many instances in the past few years where our country talked about the importance of having a girl child in the family. Our world, being the most beautiful place always emphasised on the respect we show towards woman and how a daughter in  a family takes many roles as she grows from a mischievous little girl to a responsible leader.Yet Ramya had a different perspective altogether about women. "I am not a feminist but all my life I was constantly reminded that I am a woman and I will never be able to do or achieve what a man can, I guess its this crazy madness that forced me to question everything and do better than I ever imagined"  I had no words to console her even though  a sense of achievement in her words could be felt as there was a hidden agony that her journey would have been less painful if she was not taunted on those lines. "No I am not mad, not any more" she continued. "It really doesn't matter if its a boy or a girl, if one has a dream then no amount of taunts, insults or remarks can stop a person from making that dream come true. "If I could do it, then anyone can" she kept reminding me every time I doubted if my goals are unreasonable.

I always believed that love comes in a person's life through four iconic stages. A mother teaches us 'What' love is while our siblings show  'How to' love. Our better half takes a life time, standing next to us through thick and thin teaching us 'How much' they love us while our progeny simply with their presence teach us 'Why' it so important to have love in our lives. Is that why a daughter is so important in a family?, to show everyone why the past never matters as long there is this unconditional love bonding them. What else can a father really expect from a daughter who respects him, loves him and  cares for him all her life. It's that moment I realised Ramya had a bigger dream to see a better world and I instead of wishing to have a daughter like Ramya or my sister silently accepted her dream as my daughter. I would protect that dream just like I would protect my own daughter. yes this world deserves a second chance and I will do the best I can to see my daughter grow up in the brave new world

This beautiful song from the movie Gatothkachudu aptly shows how one would go to any extent to keep a daughter's dream alive. Its this hope that will drive us further into a marvellous future.

Shakthi Shiva Roopini

'Oh! your full name is Siva Ramya' I was really delighted to recollect such coincidence that day. she mocked me for forgetting such an important thing. Having known as simply 'Ramya' for many of us, the only time we got to hear her full name was during award ceremonies at college so it's no surprise that I could not remember her full name as until then college memories were kept aside for numerous reasons. We met after many years in 2014 on an auspicious day of Dessera and the first thing she said was that she was hungry. I happily gave her a box in which my mom put some snacks offered as naivedyam for Goddess Durga. That's when I first told her that she is indeed Goddess Durga and how thankful should I be to offer food to the Goddess myself. On the contrary she pointed out that she is Lord Shiva since her name also has his name. Of course then it made total sense that She is both Shakthi and Shiva born as one. There are many such situations where I could see Shakthi Shiva roopini born in this world to remove darkness from ignorant minds. She truly is the Goddess to whom we silently bow and worship to stand beside us in all our challenges.

No wonder she was one of the first readers for all my stories, always supporting and encouraging to not restrict myself to simplicity in imagination. She always criticized me when needed and brought me back to reality when I was wandering in the abyss. She even voiced for two of my short films which to date still stand as the best of my creations -  Bandhi and Nee Yedhalo. I never thanked you enough for being such a good friend well turns out that every thing that comes out of my mind will always have your mark since I got an opportunity to learn a lot from your words including this very segment where I envisioned to write good things about people in my life who are the reason for being so awesome.

Raunaq hein thu

This is the song dedicated not just to you but every person out there who believed in their journey and never looked back. I am truly honoured to have interacted with your family when I attended you engagement and wedding. I could clearly see what a ladli you were and how every one in your family were happy that you were taking a new step in your life welcoming your better half with an everlasting smile. I wish you all happiness and where ever you are, what ever you do remember my freind -  You are awesome.

To a great human being, to an awesome friend, to a loving sister and to a caring mother

Happy Birthday buddy,
Stay awesome
keep smiling.